Generated by All in One SEO v5.0.0.1, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Custom Counselling Individualized for you ## Sitemaps - [XML Sitemap](https://customcounselling.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website. ## Posts - [WELCOME TO CUSTOM COUNSELLING!](https://customcounselling.com/welcome-to-custom-counselling/) - WELCOME TO CUSTOM COUNSELLING! (AUGUST 2016) Welcome to Custom Counselling’s blog which will provide education on a variety of life issues. This is not intended to replace personal counselling but perhaps will attract interest enough that you will wish to explore on a deeper level the subject matter(s) pertaining to you and your life. The - [THANKFUL THANKSGIVING~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/october-2016/) - THANKFUL THANKSGIVING (OCTOBER 2016) Thanksgiving is just around the corner. The name of the holiday suggests that it is a time of giving thanks. But many people wonder “Thankful? Thankful for what?” Sometimes it’s a struggle to feel thankful. When life’s circumstances take away peace of mind or physical health, when trapped in - [FAMILY RULES and MESSAGES~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/january-2017/) - FAMILY RULES and MESSAGES (JANUARY 2017) Last month we looked at child needs and parenting styles as well as a preliminary preview of the family belief system. The rules establish boundaries about what members of the family can think, say, and do. Messages are what flows out of the rules and sets the - [BELIEFS~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/february-2017/) - BELIEFS (FEBRUARY 2017) This month we are going to look at Beliefs and how they are formed from your childhood Rules and Messages. If you have ever visited a House of Mirrors, you may have had some good laughs. There are some mirrors that shape you as tall and skinny with foot long - [THOUGHTS~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/march-2017/) - THOUGHTS (MARCH 2017) Last month we looked at some Beliefs and how they are formed from your childhood Rules and Messages. This month will focus on THOUGHTS in the LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN and how these thoughts are linked to your beliefs. Let’s look at how the brain operates. Being the most complex organ in the - [VALUES-PERCEPTIONS~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/april-2017/) - VALUES-PERCEPTIONS (APRIL 2017) A quick recap of where we are on The Life Experience Chain: the RULES AND MESSAGES received as a child are all stored in the mind; these get developed into BELIEFS about yourself, your abilities, other people, and life. This belief system then directs the kind of THOUGHTS regarding those - [FEELINGS~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/may-2017/) - FEELINGS (MAY 2017) Emotions are often called “feelings” because you actually feel (sense/experience) the emotion in the body. There is a physiological change that occurs in your body as a direct result of your thoughts that causes these body sensations. So feelings are the body’s response to thoughts. I will be using the - [ANGER~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/june-2017/) - ANGER (JUNE 2017) Last month, the topic of feelings/emotions was introduced, looking at why feelings are sometimes misidentified, some common facts and fallacies about them and what the purposes of feelings are. Humans experience four primary emotions. They are anger, fear, sadness, and love. Does that surprise you? All the other feelings are - [FEAR~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/july-2017/) - FEAR (JULY 2017) Last month, we looked at the emotion of anger; this month we will examine the feeling of fear. Remember, humans experience four primary emotions: anger, fear, sadness, and love. All the other feelings are degrees or variations of these four. The features of fear vary from mild (shyness) through to - [SADNESS~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/august-2017/) - SADNESS (AUGUST 2017) We have looked at the emotions of anger and fear; this month we will examine the feeling of sadness. Remember, humans experience four primary emotions: anger, fear, sadness, and love. All the other feelings are degrees or variations of these four. The features of sadness vary from mild (disappointment) through - [LOVE~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/september-2017/) - LOVE (SEPTEMBER 2017) The last on the list of the four primary emotions is love. Remember, humans experience four primary emotions: anger, fear, sadness, and love. All the other feelings are degrees or variations of these four. The features of love vary from contentment to joy. Let’s have a look at some of - [TRIGGERS (Part 1) ~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/november-2017/) - TRIGGERS (Part 1) (NOVEMBER 2017) Over the past several months Custom Counselling blog has looked at the beginning links in the LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN. This month we will discuss TRIGGERS and how they can impact a person. A trigger is something that sets off an old memory tape. Triggers are encountered through - [TRIGGERS (Part 2)~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/triggers-part-2/) - TRIGGERS (Part 2) (DECEMBER 2017) Last month we looked at triggers and how they set off a memory tape. This month we are going to look at how to manage the triggers themselves. Next month we will look at choices for managing the bodily reactions that triggers cause. Review: A trigger is something - [CHOICES~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/choices/) - CHOICES (JANUARY 2018) At the bottom of every blog in this series of Life Experience Chain, you have read about choices. When you were young, you were “programmed” a certain way. You had no choice; you were a child. However, now you are an adult and you can change the programme. You can override - [DECISIONS ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/decisions/) - DECISIONS (FEBRUARY 2018) In last month’s blog (January 2018), you read about choices and looked at various choices when managing feelings or when triggered by an event. In order to activate a choice, you have to make a decision. But perhaps this is a hard step for you. Let’s take a look at - [BEHAVIOUR ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/behaviour/) - BEHAVIOUR (MARCH 2018) All of the things we have talked about so far in the Life Experience Chain have been internal activities. Behaviour on the other hand, is external. I like the analogy of the iceberg. All these things (childhood rules and messages, resulting beliefs which form thoughts, feelings, choices, and decisions) are the - [LIFE EXPERIENCE ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/life-experience/) - LIFE EXPERIENCE (APRIL 2018) Throughout these past months you’ve looked at many different things. You’ve learned that out of your rules and messages given to you as a child came from your beliefs > thoughts > feelings > choices > decisions > behaviour. Each of those is a chain resulting accumulatively in your - [LIVING INTENTIONALLY (The Use of Time) ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/living-intentionally-the-use-of-time/) - LIVING INTENTIONALLY (The Use of Time) (MAY 2018) TIME: What is it? Time is something all of us have regardless of our race, age, marital status, educational standing, economic level, social class, career path, religious beliefs, or geographic location. There are many philosophical topics we could discuss regarding time but for this blog, - [WHEN HELP IS NEEDED (Looking at Counselling) ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/when-help-is-needed-looking-at-counselling-2/) - WHEN HELP IS NEEDED (Looking at Counselling) (JUNE 2018) I don’t know whether this is true or not but I’ve heard there are over 250 approaches to counselling. I thought this blog might help sort out the questions one should ask oneself regarding counselling. When do I go for counselling? Most people wait - [FRIENDSHIP ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/friendship/) - FRIENDSHIP (JULY 2018) Wanted: a friend. Person desires someone to share time and activities. Any size, any age, any race acceptable. For more information phone 2-374-363-7447 (a-fri-end-ship) This isn’t exactly the kind of advertisement you’d see written in a newspaper, magazine, or hanging on a local grocery bulletin board. But perhaps if - [Managing Conflict ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/managing-conflict/) - MANAGING CONFLICT (August 2018) Relationships will always have conflict. It doesn’t matter what the relationship is (family, friends, job, etc), there will always be conflict at some point within that relationship. It doesn’t matter how connected you are or how much you have in common, there will always be conflict about something. Conflict - [Handling Criticism ~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/handling-criticism-2/) - HANDLING CRITICISM (September 2018) Last month we looked at conflict in relationships. This month we will consider aspects of how to handle criticism, both in giving and receiving it. People often think of criticism as being cruel when given and being hard to receive ... and it can be, if not given and - [Compliments ~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/compliments-custom-counselling/) - COMPLIMENTS (October 2018) Last month we looked at criticism; for October we will look at the aspects of compliments. Although it seems unusual that a person would have trouble receiving a compliment, it does present difficulty for some people. And on the other hand, people can have a problem with giving a compliment to - [Disappointment ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/disappointmentcustom-counselling/) - DISAPPOINTMENT November 2018 Disappointment ~ it can happen to anyone at any time; no one is immune. From early childhood and on through life all of us will experience disappointment at some point. The Merriam-Webster definition of disappointment is “unhappiness from the failure of something hoped for or expected to happen.” The disappointment might - [Vacation ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/vacation-custom-counselling/) - January 2019 Sometimes we need a vacation and so this month I am resting not in some tropical place but close to all the things I love to do. So, hope you will connect with the blog in February! - [Holiday Wish ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/holiday-wish-custom-counselling/) - Holiday Wish December 2018 This is the time of year that can have conflicting viewpoints for people. Some look forward to this time of year; others do not. Some celebrate Christmas; others celebrate a winter holiday. Some look forward to a good time with family and friends; others will dread the time together. - [Worry ~ Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/worry-custom-counselling/) - WORRY February 2019 Worry ... Worry ... Worry ... Worry ... Worry Merriam Webster defines worry as a persistent or nagging mental distress or agitation. A second definition is to harass by tearing, biting, or snapping, especially at the throat. Origin: Old English wyrgan ‘strangle’, of West Germanic origin. In Middle English the - [LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN-PUTTING IT TOGETHER~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/october-2017/) - LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN-PUTTING IT TOGETHER (OCTOBER 2017) Over the past four months we have looked at the four primary emotions (anger, fear, sadness, love) and saw how these emotions may have gotten misrepresented by childhood rules and messages. The resulting links in the Life Experience Chain were then some irrational and damaging BELIEFS leading - [A LOOK AT FAMILY~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/december-2016/) - A LOOK AT FAMILY (DECEMBER 2016) In November’s blog, I gave a skeleton outline of the LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN that would be the content of the next several blogs. However, before that gets started, since the first link in the chain is about the rules and messages received as a child, I want to talk - [INTRODUCTION TO THE LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN~Custom Counselling](https://customcounselling.com/november-2016/) - INTRODUCTION TO THE LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN (NOVEMBER 2016) I hope from the last Custom Counselling blog, you were able to discover a few things to meditate on at Thanksgiving. The upcoming series of blogs will talk about the LIFE EXPERIENCE CHAIN. Each blog will cover some of the elements in one of the “chains” ## Pages - [Home](https://customcounselling.com/) - London counselling, trauma therapy, EMDR, RSW, anxiety counselling, male survivors - [Blog](https://customcounselling.com/blog/) - Custom Counselling Blog Permalink Gallery Worry ~ Custom Counselling Worry Worry ~ Custom Counselling WORRY February 2019 Worry … Worry … Worry … Worry … Worry Merriam Webster defines worry as a persistent or nagging mental distress or agitation. 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